Do you know you live with someone who’s an addict, but feel at a loss about how to deal with them? Have you tried conventional approaches but can’t make them work for you?
If you are around an addict, you are likely to feel and act in the following ways: (Questioning what you know to be true)
1. Agreeing to and with things you wouldn’t normally agree to.
2. Helping others out of jams or difficulties they have clearly created for themselves. This can extend to lying for them or doing other behaviors you would not normally engage in.
Have you ever made a new year’s resolution? Were you going to lose fifteen pounds? Be a “better” person? Work out every day? Fight less with your husband or children? Get up earlier?
Most of us were taught that this was a time we could change things. We could judge what was wrong in our lives and join everyone else in a commitment to “improve”. How well did your resolutions turn out? If you’re like most of us, not so well! Were you bewildered? Did you use this “failure” to go to more of the wrongness of you? What no one told you is that new year’s resolutions are pretty much doomed from the start! When we judge that there is something wrong with us, we have to end up separating and fighting with what we have judged, which only strengthens the “wrongness”.
One moment you’re happy, confident, creating your life and the next you are swept away by the holiday’s tidal wave of obligations and duty and are making plane reservations to visit people who don’t honor you or really care what matters to you. What happened? How does a capable, intelligent person lose themselves so easily in the holiday fantasy?
Last week I was absolutely obnoxious! Now this is not an energy I often embrace, but there I was, doing and being it to the best of my ability. I had gone to t-mobile to have my phone fixed only to find no extra holiday staff and a long wait. I started pacing. I started glaring, even making comments. While others waited patiently I was walking around and around the store, being the energy of “this is NOT OK and needs to change!”
Fortunately I also started questions..